


Family Scheme Night

by MyckiCade



Series: As Water Consuming the Bridge [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Family time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:08:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2557463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyckiCade/pseuds/MyckiCade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night that Jim banned Monopoly from the house, was also the night that he got a full glimpse of exactly what he had managed to sink himself into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Scheme Night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Gotham. I am not that clever. This work is for fan enjoyment only. No infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Note: This idea was too cute to pass up on. ~ <3 ~.

The night that Jim banned Monopoly from the house, was also the night that he got a full glimpse of _exactly_ what he had managed to sink himself into. It was a newly-typical Thursday night, consisting of an early leave from work, a family dinner, and a board game, over dessert. Selina had chatted about what she had done, during the day, and Jim did his best to be judgment-free, and supportive, even when she lied to his face about stealing the gold watch right off the wrist of an otherwise-unsuspecting city councilman. (Really, he had the police report, complete with the victim's description, to prove it. It was Selina, down to the scuff of her boots). So long as she was safe, Jim, despite how deeply it wounded him to admit, could act like he hadn't heard a word of it.

Oswald, as with their first two dinners, said very little. He wasn't rude toward their guest, or in any way unpleasant. It was still new, and Jim took it for inexperience around children, or that he didn't want to say the wrong thing, and risk becoming a bad influence. In time, it would melt away, Jim kept telling himself. There was nothing to worry about, just yet.

With Selina's help, plates were cleared away from the table, while Oswald plated dessert. He hadn't told them what had been prepared, despite how many times they'd asked. He'd just smiled, and shook his head, before returning to his dinner. Jim wanted to look over Oswald's shoulder, now, if only to be a nuisance, but, the last time he had tried that, he'd worn a face-full of flour and baking powder. After that... He'd mostly learned his lesson.

“Cat, let's pick the game,” Jim suggested, instead, leading the girl to the small stash of board, dice, and card games that had been more-or-less haphazardly tossed into the entrance closet, when they'd moved in. There were a couple of boxes likewise shoved to the back of the closet, and Jim made a mental note to try and get them taken care of, over the weekend. For now, his focus remained on Selina, who was taking her time in making a careful selection. She passed over _Scattergories_ , scoffed at _Scrabble_ , and completely ignored Jim's own suggestion of _Life_ . Finally, she picked up the _Monopoly_ box, and looked up at Jim.

“Can we play this one?” she asked, handing him the game, as if his answer meant nothing. They were going to play it, one way or another, and they both knew it.

Jim chuckled. “Yeah, sure.” Closing the closet door, he brought the game to the dining room table, Selina following behind him. Together, they set up the pieces, Selina selecting the car as her mover. Jim took the dog for himself, chuckling at the way Selina's nose wrinkled in disgust. The top hat, he set on Oswald's side of the table.

“You sure he'll want that one?” Selina asked, setting the money tray down in front of Jim's place.

“Oh, yeah,” Jim replied, with a small nod. “He never uses anything else.”

Speak of the devil, Oswald chose that moment to walk through the doorway, three small plates arranged along his left hand and forearm, clean forks and cloth napkins held in his right hand. He smiled, setting the first plate down, in front of Selina. “Monopoly, mm?” he commented, fork and napkin placed onto the table, next. He moved on to do the same, for Jim. “We haven't played this one, in a while.”

Jim smiled. “Cat picked,” he replied, pausing to thank Oswald for dessert, before he even looked down at the plate. The second he did, his stomach began to ache, in preparation for what he was about to eat. A generous slice of German chocolate cake sat against the white porcelain, a bit much for his personal needs, especially following the plate of chicken spaghetti, and two pieces of garlic bread that he had consumed, during dinner. Slow and steady, that was what would get him there. He didn't want to avoid eating it, after all, and risk upsetting Oswald. “I suggested _Life._ ”

Selina made a disgruntled noise, from around her fork. There looked to be a smart response headed his way, but it was cut short, as the girls eyes widened. “Oh, my god,” she groaned, turning toward Oswald, who was finally reclaiming his own seat. “This. This is amazing. Oh, my god.” Going in for another forkful, Selina was quick to take the next bite. “You made this? Oh, wow,” she rambled, around her mouthful.

Across the table, Oswald failed to hide a pleased smile. “Yes... It's my mother's recipe.” He settled his napkin across his lap, and looked back to Selina. “I'm glad you like it.”

“Like it? Oh, man. I'd be here, _every day,_ for this cake.”

Jim raised an eyebrow. “Every day? For cake?” The only response he received was an enthusiastic nod. Glancing over at Oswald, they shared an amused smile, but made no further comment. “Well, then. Are we ready to start?”

The first half-hour went by without notice, Jim having taken control of the bank, as Selina and Oswald went back to discussing desserts, between turns. It was probably a safer bet, in the end, anyway. He could keep a better eye on things, in the interests of impartiality. For what it was worth, though, he was happy to hear the two conversing.

“'Get Out of Jail Free',” Selina read, having drawn a card from the Community Chest. “Oh, so, it's like... 'Call Detective Gordon', right?” She grinned, sliding the card under the closest corner of the game board.

Oswald smirked. “I'm afraid that even _James'_ reach could not extend so far as to spring you from lock-up.”

“Really?” Selina asked. “You think so?” She glanced at Jim, for a moment, before shrugging. “Whatever. I'd just break out, anyhow.”

Pointing his fork at the girl, Jim gave her a look. “You'd best just be staying _out_ of the jail cells, all-together, Young Lady.”

The look Selina sent back was in challenge. “Oh, yeah? You'd best watch out, _old man._ A 'young' girl, like me, would be the perfect person to sneak into your bank, and rob you, blind.”

There was a reply on the tip of Jim's tongue, before Oswald beat him to words. “For the record... I don't think that it would be terribly difficult.”

Sitting up, a bit straighter, Jim held his arms out, in question. “What the hell is this?”

“No, totally,” Selina agreed, both she and Oswald ignoring his outburst. “Walk in, get the money, and be done with it.”

“Tut, not without a proper plan of action,” Oswald countered, reaching to the game box at the opposite end of the table, stealing a couple of the houses and hotels. “Your team is a very important part of the process.” He began arranging the pieces of plastic off to the far side of the game board. “If those that you entrust don't know what they're doing, you risk the failure of the entire operation.”

Selina leaned forward, enraptured. “So, hire professionals.”

Here, Oswald held up one index finger. “Yes, _but,_ you don't want five men with outrageous terms.” He pushed one of the houses forward. “One leader, a man with enough intellect to keep the team organized. In, out, quick and clean.” Moving the three remaining houses side by side, behind the first, Oswald returned his hands to his lap, and smiled, proud of himself. “The other three... They can be a bit dim. So long as they are capable of following orders, and not asking questions. No little canaries who would be likely to sing, either, in the event of their capture. Very important.”

“Okay,” Selina agreed, at length, digesting each portion of what she was told. “But, if these are the guys you hire, where are _you,_ during all of this?” She glanced to the hotel pieces, taking one, and placing it a fair distance to the side. “You're watching, and waiting, right? Out of the line of fire.”

Oswald nodded. “Smart girl. You give them the objective, the plan, and they take action. You have to be the brains.”

“Makes sense. Better not to go down for it, if you don't have to.”

“Exactly.”

“So, wait for nightfall, and find a good spot to get in?” Moving the lead house forward, Selina sighed, folding her hands on the table, before her, and dropping her chin on top of them. “Too easy. You'd have alarms going off, every left, right, and sideways.”

“Very simple to get around,” Oswald assured, picking up a second hotel, and placing it ahead of the houses. “You find a man on the inside. Again, he has to be someone who could be bribed, but wouldn't give you up, in a moment of interrogation.”

Selina glanced up, eyebrows furrowed. “Can't you just adjust the plan? Make sure it doesn't get traced back to him?”

There was a long pause, Oswald staring forward at the girl, face a blank stare. Selina stared back at him, intently. It was another moment before Oswald's lips pulled up into a grin. “You have a good mind for this, I see.”

Selina smirked, clearly pleased with the obvious compliment. “What can I say? I've picked up a couple of things.”

Ignored, at the head of the table, Jim sat back, his hands covering the lower half of his face in something akin to horror. Part of him couldn't believe what he was hearing, listening to his lover and unofficial charge discussing Organized Crime 101. The rest of him knew better than to be truly shocked. After all, he was the one who had brought a child thief – better than her peers, two and three times her own age – to share dinner with the once-notorious Penguin of Gotham.

Really, it was bound to happen, eventually.

Their game officially abandoned, Jim wasn't even noticed, as he rose from his seat, and crossed the room to pour himself a glass of scotch.

“No, no, no. That maneuver leaves half of your perimeter exposed.”

“Well, who was the dumbass who decided to go in, a man down?”

Jim rolled his eyes to the ceiling, as he swallowed down the contents of his glass, before pouring another. He felt that he should probably be praying for forgiveness, somewhere, from _someone._ If he thought about it, he could find a true crime in this, he was certain. A Hail Mary was already on his lips.

The next day, Jim disposed of the game, in an undisclosed location. There wasn't a migraine pill big enough to deal with that sort of nonsense, again. He re-arranged the games, in the closet, and unpacked those boxes. One positive move to come from that night of 'family bonding'.

The following Thursday, they played _Life._ Half-way to retirement, Jim couldn't pay his mortgage, while Oswald had a mid-life crisis, and Selina was an unwed mother to three children. This sparked a rather uncomfortable discussion about why the game couldn't promote a clear path for career women who understood the importance practicing safe sex. Jim just hoped it wasn't a look into their collective futures.

Family Game Night was thereby changed to Family Movie Night.

 


End file.
